


Swan Song Uncut

by panthor



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bisexual Evil Queen | Regina Mills, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Developing Relationship, Emma Swan Needs A Hug, Emma is still being determined, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s05e11 Swan Song, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Killian Just Died, Once Upon a Time (TV) Spoilers, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Regina Is A Good Bro, Swan Queen - Freeform, does it count as a major character death if the character is already dead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-07
Updated: 2016-10-07
Packaged: 2018-08-20 00:13:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8229598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/panthor/pseuds/panthor
Summary: Regina takes Emma home after Killian dies.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I had to write a screenplay for creative writing last year, and this is (kind of) the result! This is Messy because I don't know how to write Emotion but here you go :-) Who needs an abusive boyfriend when u have Regina Mills amirite ladies??  
> (Takes place immediately after Emma kills Killian)

“I’m so sorry,” Emma’s breathing is hard and she cuts herself off with a choked sob. “I’m so– so sorry Killian.” 

Everyone standing around the lawn glances at each other, unsure of what to do. The air is cold and silent, save Emma’s broken murmurs from where she’s hunched over Killian’s body. It takes a solid minute for anyone to react; it’s only when Mary Margaret steps over to her daughter that the rest of them really let themselves look to Emma. They watch as Mary Margaret kneels next to her, warily laying a hand on Emma’s shoulder. She doesn’t flinch, just continues to openly cry over Killian.

Mary Margaret eyes David over her shoulder, waiting for his nod to finally speak. “You did the right thing, Emma. He wanted this,” she says, squeezing Emma’s shoulder ever-so-slightly.  
It’s silent, and Mary Margaret is about to speak again – thinking that Emma either didn't hear her or she just didn’t have the energy to think of a response – until Emma lifts her head up a bit, her eyes still focused on Killian’s face. 

“It should have been me.”

There’s another round of glances. The air seems to grow tenser all over the lawn, and Regina can’t help but look at the ground, holding her breath. 

“Emma. . .” Mary Margaret says. 

“I didn’t want to lose another person I loved. It should have been me.” 

Regina’s heart hurts at Emma’s words. She had told Emma on many occasions that she was too good for Hook, but now that he was gone, she could see just how much of an impact the man had on Emma. Regina had never paid much attention to their relationship – whether it was just because she didn’t like Killian much at all or something else, she didn’t know – but it’s obvious to her now that Emma loves – loved – him a lot more than Regina has ever cared to realize. It makes her stomach churn with guilt. 

There’s a hand on her arm squeezing gently and she lifts her eyes from the ground to see Henry looking at her with a sad smile. He nods towards Emma and Mary Margaret, a silent encouragement to go over to them. David had walked over to them since Emma last spoke, so she shakes her head slightly, not wanting to interrupt what was obviously a family moment. 

“Mary Margaret, take her home. Robin and I will take care of everything here.” David checks over his shoulder to make sure Robin is okay with staying behind, and Robin nods to him. 

Mary Margaret nods as well, turning her focus back to Emma. Her daughter is once again trying to find any indication of life in Killian, though her tears have stopped for the moment. She gently grabs onto Emma’s shoulder and tried to turn Emma towards her.

She and David still hadn’t mastered the art of comforting a hurt child – they had missed out on a lot of time and there was still a bit of confusion when it came to their parenting skills. It didn’t help that Emma was really, really good at hiding her emotions, either. There was rarely a time where either of them had to really comfort their daughter, so when they did it wasn’t exactly a subject of expertise. 

“Let’s go, Emma.”

“No!” Emma’s eyes are wide, and she lowers her voice. “No, I want to be with him. Please,” she says softly.

“I’m sorry, Emma.” Mary Margaret squeezes Emma’s shoulder gently. She can see Regina slowly making her way over to them out of the corner of her eye, but she doesn’t look at her. 

Emma whines, “Mom. . .” 

Regina is now standing to the left of Mary Margaret, her hands deep in her pockets. She bites her lip and forces herself to interrupt their conversation. If it can even be considered a conversation.  
“Emma, I think it’s best if you go home.” She takes a deep breath, “Trust me, you don’t want to be here right now.”

Emma looks up, and Regina swears her heart stops for a split second when Emma’s eyes meet her own. The first thing Regina notices is that Emma looks exhausted, and she knows how it feels. It’s exactly how she felt when she was fighting between herself and the Evil Queen. The constant battle between wanting to be good and the nature of bad in her had constantly left her tired and weak, but she had been so used to it that she learned how to hide it. Regina feels a little jealous that Emma hasn’t been broken to the point of having to hide her vulnerability. 

“I don’t want to leave him,” Emma says and holds onto Killian’s hand a little tighter. 

“You need to give yourself a break, Swan.” Regina’s tone is firm but still soft. It’s the same tone that she’s used with Henry when she needs him to really listen to her, to claim authority without being too harsh. She knows that Emma needs that right now, for someone to take care of her.  
“Regina–”

“Emma.” Firm but soft.

Emma looks down at Killian once more, the last of her unshed tears surfacing as she realizes he’s not coming back. She gives him a final kiss on his cheek, then shakily stands up next to Regina. Her hands are shaking again now that she doesn’t have anything to hold onto, so Regina holds Emma’s right hand in both of her own. Mary Margaret smiles softly at Regina, letting her take the lead to the path back home.

No one says anything as they leave but Regina hears movement behind them as they walk. She looks over to Emma. She has her head down and her left hand in the pocket of her jacket, a quiet sniffle coming from her every few seconds. In that moment she looks so defeated, and Regina no longer feels jealous of Emma. 

 

Regina sits on the end of Emma’s bed. It’s comfortable in the slightly cold room. The clean, white walls and sharp, dark furniture remind Regina of her own office. The room makes her feel at home, she thinks. Maybe it’s Emma that makes her feel at home. 

Emma is laying on her back with her legs crossed one over the other. Her arms are behind her head and her eyes are closed. She had finally managed to stop crying about an hour after Regina had brought her home. Mary Margaret had gone back to David after Regina had promised that she would take care of Emma, thanking her with a hug and a promise to be back as soon as they had taken care of the mess left behind from earlier in the night.

Emma’s position leaves her open, vulnerable, and it makes Regina feel even more comfortable in Emma’s home. Only a few times has Regina seen Emma’s vulnerable side, and it’s a relief that Emma is starting to share that side of herself with Regina a little more each day. She feels trusted, wanted even, and that’s something that she hasn’t had in a long time. 

“Thanks for bringing me home,” Emma says after a while. “Staying with me.” 

Regina smiles. 

“Of course, Swan.”

“I don’t think I could be alone tonight, but sometimes I just need to have a break from my parents. I love them, but they can be too overwhelming and I just wanted to have some time to think. I don’t think either one of us would have made it out alive if Mary Margaret was here.” Emma laughs at the thought of her mother trying to comfort her. 

The smile on Regina’s face falls when Emma opens her eyes and looks at the ceiling. She still looks tired. Regina wants to be able to make her well, she wants to fix everything so she never has to see Emma like this again. 

“I’m sorry, Emma.” 

“You don’t have to apologize. It was my choice,” Emma says. She looks to Regina and tries to smile but Regina can already see her strong façade starting to slip.

It takes a few minutes for Regina to think of what to say next but she eventually takes in a breath and says, “I know what it’s like to watch someone you love die right before your eyes. I know what you’re going through Emma, and I’m sorry that it had to happen to you.” She rests her and on Emma’s knee, giving it a small squeeze.

Emma deserved better than Hook, but she didn’t deserve that. 

Emma looks away from Regina, back to the ceiling. “You’ve never been the one to kill them,” she says.

There are times where Emma seems to forget about Regina’s past. She sees good in everyone despite all of the shit people have given her and while Regina appreciates it, she can’t help but wish that Emma would remember. She hasn’t always been good.

“Yes, I have.”

That seems to confuse Emma for a few seconds. When she realizes what Regina is talking about she sits up and frowns. Their knees are now touching, Regina can feel something warm in her stomach at the contact, and they’re looking at each other stilly.

“Regina, I –“

“It’s fine,” Regina interrupts, smiling tightly. “I’ve learned to deal with it, and you will, too. It’s always going to hurt, but there comes a point where you start to forgive yourself. Though, I don’t know if I will ever fully be there.” 

“He’s already forgiven you.”

A laugh finds its way through Regina’s lips. It’s forced, she doesn’t try to hide that. “I know. I’ll never understand why, though.” 

“He wanted you to be happy, ‘Gina,” Emma says softly. The last word is cut off, almost as though she hadn’t meant to say it. Regina doesn’t care, though. 

This isn’t a conversation Regina wants to be having, at least not now. Maybe not ever. She has worked so hard to keep that part of her past to herself, avoided it on the rare chances that it had come up. Over a decade later and she still doesn’t have the courage to have a real conversation about it. Archie had told her once that it would make her feel better to say it out loud, to own it, but all it did was bring back the unpleasant churn in the pit of her stomach that it had always brought. 

Not even talking about it with Emma would help, she thinks. Her only confidant, the only one who had finally given her a chance, she could not handle this conversation with. Whether it’s because of the subject of the conversation, or the fact that Regina doesn’t want Emma Swan to see her so weak again, she can’t decide. So, she tries to steer the conversation away from herself by saying, “Hook wanted you to be happy, too.”

It seems like an appropriate change, considering what had happened only hours earlier. It can’t be an easy thing to talk about, but they’re going to have to talk about Killian at one point or another. Even if Regina really, really doesn’t want to. 

“Yeah,” Emma whispers, folding her hands in her lap. 

She’s decided to leave that conversation for later, it seems. Regina is definitely fine with that. 

In that moment, Regina takes the opportunity to really look at Emma again. Her hair had been slicked back into a ponytail sometime earlier, giving Regina a complete view of the blonde’s face. She still looks tired, that much is obvious, but her eyes are no longer half-lidded and her shoulders aren’t as tense as before. Emma glances over at Regina when she realizes Regina has been staring, and Regina casts her eyes down to her lap. Her throat is dry all of a sudden and she blinks down at her legs, feeling ridiculous because her hands have gone numb as well. 

“I. . . I think I’m going to try to sleep. You can uh – do whatever, make yourself comfortable,” Emma says after a moment of silence. 

Regina stands up and straightens her skirt. “Of course,” she smiles at Emma warily and walks over to the bedroom door. Her hand hesitates over the handle for a microsecond, wanting to say something else to Emma but she stops herself before she can.

“Regina,” Emma says when Regina is halfway into the hall. Regina turns and her heart stops all over again at Emma’s smile. She looks like she’s almost . . . happy when Regina looks at her. “Thank you.” 

Part of Regina really wants to go back to where Emma is and kiss her and tell her that she’d happily spend all of her nights by Emma’s side if it meant making her smile at Regina like that. A smarter part of her knows that isn’t smart, and that she should just smile back at Emma, a real smile despite everything that has happened tonight. That part wins, and she does, and it seems that Emma only looks happier when Regina grins at her.

“Goodnight, Swan.”

**Author's Note:**

> Just like my Stucky Parallels, this may become a multi-chapter thing, but for now I'm leaving it here :-) I'm very bad at long term writing commitments, so I'm still not sure whether or not I'll be continuing this. Thank you for reading, though!


End file.
